Jen (ylla) wrote,
Jen
ylla

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I'm really really sleepy now, but I had to come online and write this - must be addicted already.
I'm kind of happy as well as sleepy - it was a good day, in a small way. All my happenings are small. I haven't worked out yet whether that's wrong. I hope not :)
So anyway, I spodded a bit, and read half a gaelic book, and I went up to the uni to hand back a book, and to safeways - first time in days I've been out of the house for more than about 5 minutes, and it was good. I was walking along the road and suddenly realised I was completely content. I don't know _why_ - it seems very odd - but just then I was perfectly happy to be outside on a sunny day, walking along the street and knowing I had feet to take me wherever I wanted to go. Odd, but nice. I bought lots of fruit and vegetables, and some bread and pancakes - the stuff I've been missing while I couldn't be bothered to shop.
Anyway, I came back, and went to the bath, and phoned my mother, and then Ian phoned me. He was on his mobile in the car, and it kept cutting out and crackling, which was a little bit annoying, but it was still nice. We talked about dancing mostly, and i didn't worry that i wasn't interesting, and that i didn't have anything deep and meaningful to say, and it was nice. I like him. Quite a lot. I realise I'm going on about that a lot, but having been obsessed with him for a few weeks it's nice to come down to earth and realise i can still deal with him in a sane way. I like it :)
Then I phoned my sister - I'd offended her, because she phoned me in one of the times when Ian had disappeared and I wouldn't let her talk because i knew he was trying to phone me again. I can't remember much of what she had to say - wants to know if you have to register a religion at the post office like a newspaper. Then I watched the west wing. It was good, but i was sleepy.
Oh, and I did a silly thing today. I'd nearly forgotten, so I seem to have recovered. It was a little bit marnanel's fault, because his posting about cluefulness (I don't have any) worried me a bit. Anyway, the silly thing I did was to go and read the thing about hacker personalities, and from there to read about asperger's syndrome and ADD, which it talked about, and of course started convincing myself i had everything. I seem to have convinced myself now that I don't have asperger's syndrome (at last - i think i do whenever i see something written about it, because of my odd lack of social skills, and the thought scares me horribly). I'm still more than half convinced that I have ADD, I think, but I'm also unsure that concentrating more on things you enjoy than things you don't is a disease - maybe I'm missing something. And no one could call me hyperactive. So i'll live. But somebody keep me away from psychological webpages, please
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