You tell your friends "i was climbing up stairs that weren't there to get away from my mother, who wanted to take me to the dentist"
You tell your friends "the frame of the staircase was there, but the steps had been lifted off, and i had to clamber up the supporting bits"
You tell your friends "and then she found me, and she was telling me how she couldn't come and visit me, or i couldn't go and visit her, or something"
You tell your friends "and i realsied that although we were in the same room talking, i was in glasgow and she was in edinburgh, and she had to go to stonehaven to buy green clothes for an interview"
You tell your friends "so she didn't have time to go to glasgow, or wouldn't be there if i went to edinburgh, whichever it was"
You tell your friends "and then there was something about a hall in cambeltown for having a ceilidh in, and a band man who had thought there would only be one hall in kintyre"
You tell your friends "then i woke up"