And, yes. I went to Cramond and saw curlews and redshanks and turnstones and oystercatchers (and gulls and swans and ducks and dogs), and I enjoyed that, and I went to the Botanics and saw snowdrops and other growing things and blackbirds and a wren and a thrush (and squirrels and magpies and pigeons), and I enjoyed that, and I've bought a camera with more zoom for taking better pictures of things, although it hasn't come yet.
I went to a smallpipes workshop last weekend and enjoyed it, and I learnt a fancy new tune on the fiddle and enjoyed that, and although I haven't been dancing much lately due to flu and coughing myself to bits, I'm hoping to get to a workshop on Sunday and to enjoy it.
As far as I can tell, the problem lies not with my capacity for enjoyment, but with using up so much of my mental energy dealing with things I don't enjoy that all I want to enjoy after that is a rest!
My mum wanted to know what I really wanted to be, which is a much more difficult question.
I could imagine possibly wanting to be a gardener, or a botanist, or someone who works on a nature reserve, or much the same as I am now, or a sort of crofter, or someone who works on a ferry, or someone who plants trees, or someone who teaches people to use everyday maths, or possibly a few more things, besides a dancer and dance teacher and musician around the edges.
But whether I'd actually want to be these things in practice, and whether I want to be any of them *now*, are different questions again.