Jen (ylla) wrote,

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I felt a bit bouncy tonight, for the first time in 6 or 7 weeks. It's a good feeling. I'm not recovered enough to think that it's right way to feel - but it's still selfishly good.
It's been a good day. Nothing special maybe, but by recent standards, definitely good. I've not got much constructive done, but I've managed to enjoy most of what I did, which I suppose is always good, even if it's nothing more useful than writing bad code.
Read some more gaelic stuff since the last entry, and watched holby city - not a program i'm addicted to, but pretty good for a not-too-brainy hour :)
Then I went out and bought a kebab - yes I have low tastes in food - too lazy to cook - and had an odd experience - I was standing waiting, and was vaguely aware of someone passing the door. Turned out to be someone i vaguely know from dancing - he backtracked, stuck his head round the door, said hello, and walked on. Glad he didn't want a conversation I suppose - he's famously the most boring man in the club, the sort you can't get away from if you let him start talking at all.
Getting quite sleepy now - wishing I could phone ian too. I wish I hadn't messed things up so much, although none of it was intentional, and mostly not under my control. I could far too easily get back into the state of impatiently waiting all day for the evening when I can phone him - but even if I thought he wanted that sort of intensity, it wouldn't be right. I don't think I have enough to say to regularly interest him. I'm not very demanding when it comes to him - he could be spouting rubbish and I'd still listen enraptured ;) How sad. I'm not worryingly obsessed with him the way I was in the depths of my insanity - but oh i like the boy!
It really is good to be alive - although I can't help feeling that's wrong when for so many people it isn't...
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